So I’ve done a lot of talking about Ulcerative Colitis, but what is it exactly? First, a couple of warnings. This post is going to be a little medically science heavy. I will be getting into the classification of the disease and will be using the appropriate terms when necessary. On top of this, I will say this now as to save some of you time. If you aren’t interested in what the definition of Ulcerative Colitis is, or how it can be an anchor, then let me say this here and now, saving you the rest of the article. Ulcerative Colitis is the disease I was diagnosed with. It sucks, it causes pain, and is an inflammatory, autoimmune disease that can take a lot of time and concentration from a person. So with that out of the way, let’s dive a little deeper into what Ulcerative Colitis is medically, how it has affected my life, and how I am currently dealing with it.
Medically, as I have stated, Ulcerative Colitis is an autoimmune disease that results in inflammation of the large intestine and colon. It is quite similar to Crohn’s Disease, however, there are a few differences between Crohn’s and Colitis. The first is that Crohn’s can occur anywhere along the digestive tract including the esophagus and upwards, whereas Colitis is contained in the lower intestine (although there has been rumors/cases of Colitis progressing to Crohn’s). The second point has to do with the autoimmune nature of the two diseases. In both case, Colitis and Crohn’s are a result of the person’s immune system attacking their own body. As the name implies, the autoimmune attacks in Ulcerative Colitis result in ulcers occurring in the large intestine and colon. Crohn’s is similar in this nature however the difference occurs in the extent of the ulcers. Crohn’s disease related ulcers can “eat” through deeper layers of the intestines, whereas Colitis ulcers are relatively superficial. Both diseases are associated with an increased risk in cancer, as new cells are produced to replace the attacked cells. The associated risk is pretty much just saying that any time new cells are created, there’s a chance of mutation. With such a high turnover of intestinal cells, there is an associated increased cancer risk.
So that is the very short version of the medical backdrop of Ulcerative Colitis. I will point out one more thing before moving on; which is, ulcers are basically holes or pits that result from the autoimmunity (but other types of ulcers result from different things). So to sum up everything so far, Ulcerative Colitis is basically when holes/pits are made in the large intestine and colon by the person’s own body. Obviously, we could easily get more medical about Ulcerative Colitis, but to keep things somewhat simple, I will urge those of you who thirst for more medical knowledge about the disease to do some Google research. There are many organizations aimed at Crohn’s and Colitis that contain a wealth of knowledge.
Now that the medical definition is out of the way, let’s take a look at symptomology. The symptoms of Ulcerative Colitis range significantly depending on how bad the disease has progressed, and how intensely someone’s immune system is acting. These symptoms range from mucus and minimal amounts of blood appearing during bathroom trips to severe pain, large amounts of blood during use of the bathroom, rapid weight loss, and many more. Symptoms can also compound, as sufferers of Ulcerative Colitis can also experience symptoms associated with malnutrition (due to poor absorption of food in intestine) and anemia (blood loss caused by the ulcers). These two conditions have a host of complications associated with them as well. Again, to prevent myself from typing out the entire WebMD list of symptoms, I am going to focus on the ones I have had to (and to some extent still do) deal with.
For myself, symptoms started out very insignificant. I had small episodes of blood appearing in the toilet, and some slight abdominal discomfort. This was the point at which I saw a doctor and went for the full range of tests. The easiest fix at this point is anti-inflammatory medication (which I received). For me, this helped while I took it. However, the problem with Ulcerative Colitis is that it goes into periods of remission but also relapses. Upon relapse, it is not uncommon for symptoms to worsen. This is what I experienced, and continue to fight to this day. My most recent relapse came with a progression of symptoms. The abdominal discomfort grew into severe pain which I can only associated with someone stabbing me with a knife. Along with this, bleeding increased, and with it comes anemia. Anemia can cause light-headedness, mental fog, and in my case, the worst was it caused me to see black spots in my peripheral vision. Trips to the bathroom also increased, going from a normal 1-2 times a day up to 10-20 times a day, often for no reason. At this point, social anxiety sets in as “accidents” are not uncommon, and personally, if I was outside the range of probably a minute from a bathroom, I would begin to panic.
Before I go any further into symptoms and my personal experience, I will touch briefly on interventions. Interventions go from the anti-inflammatory medication that I mentioned, to steroids. From steroids, medication gets stronger and goes to immunosuppressant injections (which I currently take). If all else fails, the patient is faced with the prospect of just simply having to deal with the disease symptomology or the removal of the large intestine/colon (which has risks associated). Okay, with that we have progressed passed all the medical jargon and we can focus on personal experience.
So, quick trip back to my worst symptoms. Along with all these symptoms also comes the mental side of things. There is a sense of social isolation that I think is easily forgotten by those who have never suffered a disease or long term illness. Like I said, there was social anxiety that would set in if I basically couldn’t see a bathroom. That anxiety led me to fear leaving my home, and soon it led to social isolation where I didn’t leave if I didn’t have to. Furthermore, even as I write this, there’s a sense that unless people are ready to hear you out to a full extent, they aren’t willing to fully understand what it is you go through. It’s very easy to discredit disease when you don’t go through. I know that I’ve personally done it to other people and I have experienced my own tribulations. I have yet to determine whether it comes down to an unwillingness to understand or if maybe it’s me who isn’t properly communicating what it’s like. I cannot point fingers without being willing to take some responsibility myself. It’s always hard to talk about my condition, at least for me, without feeling like I’m complaining. There is this weird package of feelings associated with talking about my disease, and it’s definitely not a freeing bunch of feelings. Again, this leads to another form of social isolation, feeling like your different and no one understands you. It was a very lonely period of my life, and I must honestly be extremely thankful for an understanding fiancé, who put up with me, my mood swings, and my anti-socialness.
It’s very hard to get across all the symptoms via text on a site. Maybe one day I will upload a video in a feeble attempt to regurgitate all of this (or at least the symptom aspect). Yet, I want to take a moment just to state that I do not suffer with the worst possible form of Ulcerative Colitis, nor is it my intention to try and come across saying that Ulcerative Colitis is the worst thing imaginable. I truthfully consider myself lucky, both in terms of how I have fared with my disease, and the fact that it was Ulcerative Colitis that I have and not a nastier disease. Yes, Ulcerative Colitis is hard to deal with, and yes my life has changed. I have quit more jobs in the last 2 years than I ever have in my life due to Colitis symptoms and my own view of my self-confidence at performing those jobs. Yet, I do my best to keep things in perspective. I have read a lot of stories about people doing a lot worse than I am and my heart goes out to them, whether it’s Ulcerative Colitis or something else. You know, it’s to those who are suffering that I want to dedicate some focus on. I draw a lot of inspiration for those who are fighting diseases and refuse to give up their fight. I in turn hope that I can do something to repay them for the inspiration they give me. With that being said, I want to close with something very special. I want to dedicate this journey of mine to everyone fighting something, whether it’s a disease, stereotype, or whatever your battle is. This journey, this shot in the dark, this collection of effort, it’s all for you guys. And always remember, the fight is always worth it. No matter how terrible the odds may look, you never know if you never try and even if success is a 1% possibility, it’s not impossible. Take that chance, and fight your heart out. That is the only way to succeed.