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Fear of Failure: You Only Fail If You Don't Try

Some of the highest moments of my life came after what I initially perceived as failures. It’s because of this pattern that I’ve come to realize that the only source of failure is our definition of the word. Type failure into google and it gives you this as a definition: “a lack of success; the omission of expected or required action.” So now we have an official “definition” of the word, but if we got critical of this, does this mean that the high school student applying for university in order to attain the job they want is a failure? By definition, they have not yet acquired success in this field, so could you argue yes? Or does the fact that they are in the process of acquiring success make them an exception to the definition. Here is where we need to inject a little of our own personal view of failure to complete the definition.

Before we get to that, I want to tell a brief story. It’s my own story and begins where high school ends. When I was 17 years old I was convinced I wanted to be an engineer. No, that’s pretty much a lie. Everyone else convinced me that I wanted to be an engineer because I was good at science and math. Now, this is not a redirection of blame; I take full responsibility for not really caring about my university application. But this is beside the point. I applied to a handful of schools for Mechanical Engineering, and got into every school except UofT (where I was offered an alternate). I ended up choosing Ryerson University. I made Ryerson University my home for the next 6 years. Yup, you read that right, 6 years! I dabbled in Mechanical Engineering for 3 years before finding out that a Biomedical Engineering program was in the works. I wasn’t really captivated by Mechanical Engineering and decided I wanted to help people through designing and maintaining medical equipment. I pictured myself making prosthetic limbs and whatnot. So I made the switch and fought for another 2 years in Biomedical Engineering. Well, going into my third year, I had no interest any longer in anything engineering. I was planning to still tough it out, when a guest lecturer had come to the school and pretty much out right stated that there was no money in the Prosthetic Limb industry and thus crushing all remaining hope for me. I struggled for the next 3 weeks with the idea of dropping out of engineering and what to do with the rest of my life. I eventually decided that I wasn’t happy and I dropped out. The negative voice in my head kept yelling “failure” at me and for the next 10 months I couldn’t help but occasionally listen. But this is where my story took a turn for the better. I found Kinesiology, and I found my new future profession. I met the love of my life in this time period (something that wouldn’t have happened had I continued to go to Ryerson), I found two wicked jobs, and eventually it has all led me to here.

I guess what I’m trying to get at with this story is that out of something that could have easily been seen as a failure, something that could have destroyed my motivation and turned me into someone not willing to dust myself off and try again, I have found what I believe is success (or at least the road to my personal success). I can equate it to my disease as well as to what I’m trying to accomplish on the soccer pitch. My disease caused me to quit two jobs, quit martial arts, and make myself a hermit in my own home. I was easily on the path to “failure”, but I got up and tried again. I found two new jobs, I’ve rejoined the athletic community, and I’ve created Athletics for Life.

The hardest part is that everyone has their own definition for failure. To some, failure consists of one unsuccessful attempt at something. In my opinion, this is an easy way to persuade yourself to stop trying at this point. So for me, I propose a new definition for failure, and that is failure is the process of giving up, of abandoning your quest for something you yearn for. It’s never truly failure if you try again, renewed from your mistakes and with a new game plan. That is why setting goals is very important (more on this at another time). I point this out because fear of failure is probably one of the most paralyzing things I have ever faced, but I realized this fear is a personal conjuration. It doesn’t truly exist because you define when something becomes a failure by giving up. It takes a bit of stubbornness to shrug off people that will tell you that you failed, but they are not the ones that decide that; you are. Don’t let the idea of failure stop you from ever trying, for even if you “fail” at your initial goal, the process you take may open up many doors for you that will lead to a successful future.

With that, I’m going to close this off with a quote from a great man. Winston Churchill once said, “Success is going from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm.” He got it right on. You will not always be on the winning side, but the one time you are is the time that counts. You have to put yourself in the conditions for a chance of success, and that involves getting out there and trying!


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