So I won’t lie, I came across the idea about this article after a particularly poor performance by one of the teams I play with. I’ve been called up to their games which is difficult enough. They aren’t use to me and I’m not used to them. Furthermore, out of 17 goals in two games that have gone in, 13-14 of them have been two on ones and breakaways. I think it’s safe to say that this can get pretty frustrating quick. The defense will wander up and if I’m lucky one guy will rush back. Now, I must say they did get better the last half of the last game, which makes a world of difference, but by that time in a game it’s a little late.
Now, it’s just in my nature to analyze my own performance with a fine tooth comb, but in circumstances that give goalkeepers maybe a 25% chance to stop a two on one, it’s really hard to say if it’s my defense or myself that make errors. I’ve had the same problem when going to drop-in and now, for these last two games and both times the same result: demotivation and frustration. Now, I’m sitting here the day after (and last night) thinking that my goal is insurmountable. It’s at points like these that I can understand how people get discouraged. These are the times that no matter what anyone tells you, you think that your goal is a far shot, there’s no recovering from this, I might as well just quit now. I know this feeling all too well. Even with my teammates, and the league commissioner coming to tell me that it wasn’t my fault and with other great performances, it’s still all too easy to think that I’m not the Keeper I thought I was, so what is the point. And the thing is, it doesn’t just happen with sports or activities, but also translates into the world of chronic disease.
Just like in soccer, I have felt so frustrated and demotivated with my chronic disease that I didn’t know what to do. Again, this can all tie in to that mental health aspect of chronic disease. As the days, weeks, months, and sometimes years, all add up, one becomes so very frustrated by the lack of health and pain that it’s easy to want to throw in the towel. Chronic disease isn’t like soccer, or even a job for that matter, you can’t really quit. So the only thing you can do is grow a tough skin and a stubborn personality. I’ve told my chronic disease off many times, and although it didn’t listen, I refuse to give in. Sometimes the hardest thing is still leaving that front door to go into the real world, but then I remember that the world isn’t waiting for me to be better and it will pass me by if I give in. And so, the most important thing I can do, is find something to push me forward. I can’t tell you exactly what that is for each and every one of you, that is something personal and close to your own heart. Remember that thing every day, make it the first thing you think of when you wake up, and then attack the day with even more ferocity than you would if you were healthy. If you are healthy, and you are here to chase your dreams, do the same thing. Remember why you embarked on your journey. Remember all the people who told you that you cannot do it. Make sure to prove them wrong at least in one way that day.
The important thing to matter is that you will not always make huge leaps and bounds every single day. While any sort of improvement is good improvement, it’s not always easy to recognize the baby steps. With chronic disease, as long as you feel a little better than yesterday, you will get to the point where you wake up feeling just like you used to, maybe even better. Yet, at the time, the progress can be so slow that you don’t even notice. Just don’t give up. You never know if you give up, so keep trying. Bringing it back to soccer, we may have lost 8-1 our last game, but with all the practice I’m getting on 2 on 1’s and breakaways, I was able to stop two breakaways. This is something I’ve never been able to do before. In the past, I would just pretty much flail and hope for the best. Now, it takes a couple games to learn skills, especially with fields closed for the winter. So really, what did I expect? It all comes down to something my fiancé says to me all the time: Perspective. In the grand scheme of your plan, where does this all fit in? My quest to go pro isn’t reflected in an 8-1 loss in a 35+ Men’s 7v7 Division. Yes, it sucks to lose, but what did I take away. Back to disease; yes I may have missed a class lecture due to disease symptoms, but does that mean I’m not getting better or am I doing all I can, getting better bit by bit, and maybe just realizing I can’t eat certain things for breakfast. See? Perspective.
So at the end of the day, don’t let the little setbacks deter you. We all have them, whether we are celebrities, elite athletes, or just regular people. Remember, Michael Jordan got cut from his high school basketball team before he made the NBA. One failure isn’t the final outcome unless you let it be. Fill yourself with fire (metaphorically….please) and get out there and tackle your day!
NOTE: Image found on Google Image search and taken from Da Vinci's Demons show wallpaper.