Any time you set goals for yourself it is necessary to constantly self-evaluate or have others help you to evaluate and make the necessary adjustments when needed. This is never an easy thing to do but it is required. No one’s ego wants to hear, “you did this wrong, and you should’ve done this and been doing this and that.” This is something that I have had to deal with for the first time since embarking on this journey of goalkeeping and let me tell you, it’s definitely hard to hear!
I have now had four games under my belt outside of the regular drop-in sessions that I do. Now, this is where it gets tricky. Drop-in is nice, but it is not a very good place for me to evaluate my progress. Shots come from the outside and anything closer is usually a 2 on 1, which from what I have read, is basically a shot in the dark for the goalkeeper to save. I’m pretty well versed in long ranged shots, so from drop-in, it may appear as though I really know what I’m doing. It’s also very relaxed, and so the game experience is somewhat lacking, although still beneficial. Out of the four games I’ve played, one was stopped prematurely and while recording many saves, the shots all came at reasonable distance and didn’t really have much adversity. The next two games I faced more 2 on 1’s than I can count, making it hard to evaluate my performance. While I knew I made errors, I also knew a bunch of them came from no faith in defense at the time, and thus causing me to be out of position. Yet, it was this last game where I learned the most. It was a hard fought 4-4 tie in the UOIT intramurals, in which my over commitment and over-aggression as a goalkeeper allowed 3 of the 4 goals but my team ended up bailing me out, allowing us to tie. We definitely could’ve won that game, but the aggressiveness of the opposing goalkeeper was enough to stump our defense. And now the ego hit.
Like I said, the hardest part about evaluating previous performance is the part where you point out all the mistakes you made. I’m not so good at this. I was shielded since the start of this journey with the fact that my athletic ability allowed me to make spectacular diving saves so I must be a good keeper. Yet, after this last game, I turned to my fiancé, who also helps coach me (she has some good goalkeeping and defense experience, so she’s a valuable asset). Well, she pointed out where I went wrong on 3 of the 4 goals and I didn’t like it so much. I didn’t react well, ending in an apology and some guilty feelings on my side. I got my slice of humble pie, yet it’s all for the better because this is how we learn. I feel terrible that I got angry; of course, I thought my goalkeeping was top notch but it really wasn’t once I opened my eyes to what she was trying to tell me. I was at fault for all 4 goals and it sucks to feel that way. Yet, if I didn’t take accountability for those goals, how will I ever learn and improve?
This principle doesn’t just apply to sports or to what I’m trying to accomplish but this applies to any area of life. Accountability is the principle of success. We are all human, and we are all going to make mistakes. Yet, to be successful, you have to mitigate these mistakes, and to do that you have to be accountable when things go wrong. It is that ability to look at something, take ownership, and fix it. This can even goes as far as applying to certain chronic illnesses.
For example, I know that when I eat certain foods, my disease ramps way up. Instead of thinking, “oh that’s just my disease, it’s all my disease’s fault,” I took a step further and looked into any connection I was involved in. This has led me to discover that instead of just thinking it’s the nature of my disease, I’ve come to learn that it’s what I am voluntarily putting into my gut that causes my disease to ramp up. Without accountability, this is not possible. So take home message: put that ego aside, look at what you are doing wrong, and tackle those problems head on. You may not get instant success. I plan on having to adjust my training and goalkeeping many times before being successful. It’s about tweaking things until you find that formula for success, whether it be in sport, disease, or life in general. Yet, you never know if you never try, and you never learn if you never fail.