The nice, warm weather is finally here to stay I think. This is great, not only does it mean BBQs, and days at the beach, but also means no more indoor soccer, outdoor training sessions, and FINALLY the start of the soccer season. I wasn’t initially all excited for this. I mean, I wasn’t really on a team not too long ago, so it seemed like it was going to be another summer of practicing outside and just waiting around for indoor to come back around. It’s not like there’s anything wrong with just training outside, it is fun after all. It’s just that I’m dying to get out there and test out my Keeper ability in an outdoor game, something I’ve only ever done once or twice (and that was the better part of a decade ago – wow I’m getting old). Being that my goal is to go to an Open Tryout, I may want to get some experience playing outdoor games.
I ended up surfing the good old Kijiji site and after some deliberating, I found myself a team, one where the team manager said was competitive but at the same time there to have fun. Sounds like the perfect fit for me. I am after all competitive and had already turned down a team that played in a league that had no refs and was more so just something to do on a Sunday afternoon. At the same time though, I can’t stand when players are over competitive and scream at a ref in house league or maliciously go after another house league player for a minor incident prior in the game. Who has time for that unless you are getting paid to play?? Truthfully, this is the reason I will be playing Recreational intramurals come school time rather than going back to Competitive, but that’s not the topic here. All that is important here is that I joined a team and was excited I get to play outdoors, with my own Goalkeeper uniform provided by the team --- that’s pretty cool.
I anxiously awaited a message from the team manager. I knew the season was supposed to start May 29th, and I couldn’t wait to get in between the posts, and continue this journey to becoming a good Keeper and get some new material to write and think about. As Wednesday turned to Thursday and Thursday to Friday, I began to get a little nervous. I mean it was my first game outdoors after all. On top of all this, I got sick as well. That didn’t help the nerves, especially since whenever I get sick, my Colitis tends to act up. So now, not only do I have to contend with my worries of performing good or letting down my team (who I have yet to meet) but also the worry that my Colitis will be a game changer come game time. I guess in the back of my mind, I always knew this battle with Colitis and sport was coming. It was time to find out if I could overcome my fear of my disease.
In the end, I wouldn’t find out. Two hours before game time I received a text that there was a shortage of refs and the season wouldn’t start until next Sunday. All that nervous energy and anxiety was for nothing, and now I will have to face it again next week. I guess the good thing is that I won’t be sick for the game, and that means, hopefully that takes care of the Colitis worry. But the thing I realized most importantly, is that I didn’t let my fear of being a bad Keeper or my Colitis stop me from being ready to go. Who knows, maybe it would’ve been time to leave and I would’ve gone into fetal position. I really don’t think so. I felt ready and was disappointed when I found out games were cancelled. That’s okay though, I get to go through it all again next week, and that’s when we will find out if I’m ready to step in between the posts! The new season is on the horizon, and I am one step closer to that try out.