It never ceases to amaze me that every time I feel as though I’ve won the battle against my disease, it comes back roaring to remind me it is a part of my life. This is something that is more than important to understand. I talk a lot about how sports and physical activity has helped me to combat my chronic disease, but it is important to understand that no matter how much sports you participate in, you will still have your disease at the end of the day. That is why, as much as I believe sports is an important facet to living with disease comfortably, I will still always advocate that you take your medication first and foremost. But, it’s not all dreary and dark waters ahead.
While it is true that the diseases we have are chronic, that doesn’t mean we have to roll over and give up. Hence, the topic for today. I’ve been asked before, “If you have a chronic disease, and it hasn’t gone away, how do you play sports? It’s gotta be hard, isn’t it?” Now, I’m not going to lie to you and say it is easy, because the truth is that sometimes it can be hard. There are days that I feel like sitting in bed, and shutting the world out. But once I get to the field, put my cleats on and make that first save, all the loneliness and misery of my disease vanishes. It is this feeling alone that makes all of the hardship of playing worth it.
So what I hope to accomplish is a typical game for me, suffering with colitis. Now, I have played both hockey and soccer after being diagnosed, and I found that the patterns leading up to the game were very similar for the two sports. I won’t take you through all the meals or things like that, just a brief overview and then my opinion on it all. So let’s get started, shall we?
Typically, the day of a game contains some nerves for me. More so as a goalkeeper than when I played hockey, but nerves none the less. This alone can be a bit of a trigger for my disease symptoms, so I usually expect to be going to the bathroom more on game days. This usually isn’t so bad. I’m used to this from tests at school or other nerve racking events. Otherwise, I’m not really symptomatic. Now, I said I wasn’t going to talk about meals, but now that I think about it, it may be applicable for some. With the increased frequency of bathroom visits, it tends to affect my diet. Usually I have found that when I am in a flare up, I stop eating. This is not feasible with a game coming up but I definitely don’t eat to the same extent as non-game days. Usually, I will eat a normal breakfast, a lighter lunch, and then as game time approaches I will eat light things such as a bowl of rice maybe 2 hours before the game. At 2 hours before the game, I stop eating even if I’m hungry. I also make sure to drink a lot of water, which seems to help with my symptoms.
That being said, at about the 2-hour pre-game mark, my disease seems to ramp up with the nerves. I go to the bathroom a lot more frequently. In fact, in that time period between 2-hours before my game and the time I leave my house for the game (usually an hour before), I will probably go 4-5 times. This definitely seems like a lot to most healthy people, but this is what just happens. Like I said before, it’s the same for any stressful event like a midterm, exam, or even going to a concert I’m excited for. While at first, the increased frequency of bathroom visits just added to my stress, as I played more and more, I’ve just come to accept it as part of the routine of playing. There’s always the thought of “what if I’m like this the entire time during the game?! I’ll be screwed.” But this type of thinking goes away after a few games (and we will get to why in a little bit). At this 2-hour mark, I usually try to stay as stress-free as I can, and usually watch some keeper highlight reels to get me in a good mindset.
The point of travelling to the game is probably the most stressful. You leave your comfort zone (your house) and have to make that 10-30min trip to the game, and hope you either don’t have to go to the bathroom along the way, or you find one enroute. I will say this, I have to go to the bathroom 99% of the time I leave for a game. This adds to the stress of being a keeper, but like I said, after the third game in a row of getting to the field to find an outhouse or stopping at the local Tim’s and those nerves and fear of not finding a bathroom go away. I’ve even played games where I couldn’t find a bathroom, but played anyway. Seems to me to be a mental thing some of the time…
Now once I’m at the field, the rest is straightforward. I put my gear on. I might have to go to the bathroom one last time before the game starts, just to make sure. Once we get access to the field though, the disease melts away. I become completely enveloped by the game itself. I’ve said this before but I will say it again, during the 90 minutes of game time, I am a normal person, sometimes even better than normal. Playing sports gives me the chance to be the hero, gives me a chance to participate in an activity with friends and not worry (apart from the pre-game antics). Sports gives you the feeling that everything is okay, despite what your disease tries to impose on you.
So that’s my game day in a nut shell, but there’s more to it than that in which I want to touch on. This is the idea of simply starting to play sports. I will be very candid, the first few games are terrifying. You are out of your comfort zone and you don’t know what to expect. What I can tell you though is that once you get passed the first few games, game day is the day of the week you look forward to most. It’s a release from the turmoil of disease that you fight through the rest of the week, it becomes your happy place. Like anything worth doing, there is that initial fear and stress to starting something new, to beginning a new chapter in your life, but once the clouds break metaphorically speaking, and you are a few games in, the doors open up to a whole new side of disease-relief. You make new friends, you feel a part of the team, and suddenly, the other things in your life become much easier to accomplish.
So with that concludes the three-part series on goalkeeping and chronic disease. I just want to leave on one note before we conclude this mini article series. While I have found solace in goalkeeping on a soccer team, that does not mean you will find the same escape here. I want to stress the importance of making whatever sport you are trying meaningful. If that sport happens to be hockey, or baseball or basketball, go with it. Roll with the punches and invest in it. Become the athlete of your sport and don’t let your disease define you. It doesn’t even have to be a “sport”, it could be simply running, or swimming, or biking. Just whatever it is that gets you moving, make it meaningful. I truly believe that is the key to it all!